Indulge me. I'm really trying hard NOT to make this blog about 'poking at my ex' or pointing out his flaws. Instead, I look at this blog as how I'm navigating forward, what lessons I've learned. As a friend pointed out tonight, it's not about my ex, it's about rediscovering me.
But, when I reach over-the-top ridiculous with my ex, I don't think I can resist.
Nope, I can't.
So, you can bail here if you want. Sarcasm alert! It's coming in full throttle.
My ex magnanimously invited Mav to spend the day with him. And my 2 kids. And my sister's 2 kids. At a water park. That I wouldn't be at. That my sister wouldn't be at. Just him, Mav and 4 kids to which Mav is biologically connected to none.
You're wrinkling your forehead right now, aren't you?
I'm sorry... this is not magnanimous, it's STRANGE.. to say the very least.
Wait for it. You have to get the spin.
When I questioned it, I got back that my ex was put off with Mav. He couldn't believe that Mav -- in a work setting -- didn't point out to my ex that he knew the woman (aka me) my ex had walked all over.
My ex put me on notice as part of the water park invite... and I quote, 'Unless there’s a good explanation for that, which I’m missing, I’m going to be cautious with him. I’ll assume he’s a decent guy, who has the best interest of the kids in mind (and yours I hope).'
But, wait! There's more!
My ex pointed out that he is magnanimously offering Mav this opportunity to 'bond with my kids' because... and I think this may be my favorite part... 'If he’s in your life, I want to support that.'
Seriously, I can't make this stuff up if I tried. Not even for a blog.
After my lack of response to this generous offer, my ex told me that I'm 'clearly pissed when he is just trying to be nice.'
I'm laughing as I write this because it's just so ridiculous. Could someone send my ex the memo? Please? I'll try to keep it succinct.
I'm not looking for his support. I don't care if he likes Mav or any of my friends. No one needs to 'clear it' with my ex on what they know about me or if they have met me. My ex's opinion no longer matters to me. I'm not being bitter.
I just. Really. Don't. Care.
And... if I want my kids to bond with Mav... that's um.. well... my job. Which I'm completely capable of.
It's been two years and this is still the norm for my ex no matter how many times I tell him, ask him or ignore him. I gotta think he will get bored at some point? Bored of looking ridiculous? Bored of working on his appearance? Bored of being needy and insecure? It's bad enough that he sends me email upon email looking for my approval and 'afraid' I'll be mad at him. He used to send the emails to my sister. A letter to my Aunt. A birthday card to my Dad. Wine attempts with my friend. And the list goes on.
Now, he needs to bond with Mav. Because? 'If he’s in your life, I want to support that.'
Awesome. I was just sitting around wondering... does my ex support my choice for who I want to date?
Absurdity to the extreme brings out my sarcasm.