A New Superhero-The Divorced Mom
By: Rebecca Perlman Coniglio, LCSW
Author of Lily’s Little Life Lessons, www.amazon.com
With Mother’s Day just a few weeks away, I have been thinking about moms lately. The word mom means so much to me. I happen to have an awesome one and I am one now myself. To me everyday is Mother’s Day. When I look around at all the moms I see each day, at school, the market, my wonderful friends who are moms, I marvel at them all. They all have their own unique style. There is the working mom, the mom who is always in exercise clothes (sometimes I dress that way too but just for fun and not really for fitness). There is the mom who always looks like she has it all together and the mom who is always five minutes late. But whatever their style is, most moms share one thing in common. They love their children and they work tirelessly to care for them.
I think of moms as rock stars. If married moms are rock stars, then moms who are divorced are superheroes. What do I mean by that? Well this group of women have to do all the mom jobs and tasks such as, drive carpool, dry tears, wash stains out of baseball uniforms, schedule doctor appointments, sell girl scout cookies, email teachers, learn how to text, etc. all while coping with changes and stress that can come with divorce. Can you imagine Spiderman doing all of that? Suddenly these moms become in charge of everything at home. Someone has to take the garbage out, kill spiders, sorry Spiderman, and change that annoying smoke detector battery that chimes really loud at midnight. How do they do it?
I saw this first hand growing up and watching my own mother. When she first became a newly divorced mom, she was scared and unsure. That was a long time ago. Today she is strong, confident, capable, and in charge. She can do it all including fix a running toilet. She is a superhero in my eyes in everyway.
Mother’s Day provides a unique opportunity to stop and think about the special women in your life. Teens, you especially can have conflicting feelings about adults in your lives. You can love them and want independence from them all in the same hour. Do try and remember that if your mom is divorced, she is probably doing the best she can to raise you and cope with what she is going through. Moms are people too. Give yours a break every now and then. Use Mother’s Day as a time to thank your mom, grandma, aunt, or any woman that cares for you, thinks of you, and works to keep you safe. Just like a superhero. Keep in mind, maybe one day you will be the mom. Only then will you know what it is to love someone so completely.
Just the other day I received a note. It said, “Rebecca you are a very special parent.” My mom helped my daughter write it. It is my most favorite note. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you rock stars and superheroes.