Bending the Rules – Is it Good or Bad? * LTD Contributor

Elyse Rafferty Mitchell

Journal Entry 3/11/12

 

Well, I hadn’t planned on cleaning out the garage, but I’m glad I had the chance to do it today.

 

That’s how I spent some spontaneous free time this afternoon. Dad called after lunch saying he was having a bad day and wanted to see the boys. It’s hard for me to say no in that situation, but should I be?

 

Since it was no disruption to our plans, it worked out fine. If we had not been available, maybe I would have suggested a better time. But it worked out and they got some good Boys Time, full of sports in the yard (of course using everything I had just organized) and I got to clean out the garage.

 

But is it disruptive to the kids? Are they confused? I am sure it’s not bad for them to spend time with their Dad, but is the unplanned, unscheduled, random coming over to spend time at his “old house” sending a confusing message? How should these moments be handled? It’s not a regular occurrence, but how often should it be “allowed”?

 

I can certainly understand a bad day, but I want to make sure our collective flexibility isn’t sending a mixed message.

 

I’d hate to be cleaning up one mess while creating another.

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