By: Rebecca Perlman Coniglio, LCSW, *LTD Contribuor
Author of Lily’s Little Life Lessons, www.amazon.com
Ah, it is spring time and that means prom season has arrived. I love proms! I wish I could go, do you think anyone would notice?
I would love a chance to do it all over again, minus the drama of the dress, the hair, the flowers, the limo, the tables, and just enjoy it. I can’t but you can, so have fun for me. Anyway, prom time has me thinking about teenagers. It is challenging to be a teenager. You have to deal with school, tests, grades, friends, self-esteem issues, SATs, college applications, prom dates etc. The way I see growing up these days is like climbing up a mountain. Now if you add divorce into the mix, there can be even more obstacles along the way. So I see growing up a child of divorce as climbing a mountain, but with no shoes on. Climbing a mountain is hard, but climbing a mountain with no shoes on is harder.
You can do it. I think what will get you up the mountain is hope. If you have hope, you have the will to climb. I want to encourage you to hang on, grow, stretch, strive, climb, and go. You will slip back now and then, but don’t give up and do not let go of your hope. Maybe your parents have a fight, and perhaps you don’t get along with your step mother. At the same time maybe you get a good grade on that test you studied for and you have a best friend who is a really good listener. Slip back, move ahead.
Every now and then stop climbing, spread out a blanket and look around. It is important to rest your feet. What do you see? That will be different for each one of you. Do you see a certain school, a certain job, a certain partner? Are you hoping for a different kind of marriage when it is your time? One where you and your partner have each others backs. You fight but you fight fair. Maybe you hear a child laughing, maybe that is your child laughing. There is nothing like the sound of your child’s laughter. Get up off the blanket, pack up your hope, hang on, grow, stretch, strive, climb, and go.
How will you know when you have made it to the top of your mountain? That is a good question. All I can tell you is that you will know. Then it will be time to slip on a very lovely pair of shoes and walk into the future. If you are prom bound, I wish you a night of happiness and memory making. You are on your way up that mountain. GO!