Fathers assume that their role as a Dad is fulfilled once they have found a good mother for their child. Many fathers are so busy making a good living for their children that they do not find time to live with them. What we must not forget is that material substance always perishes and what we leave in terms of companionship with our child will linger in the mind of our children and also our grandchildren.Fathers are now being recognized as role models for their children and part of the parenting team.
You as a Father today need to know that you can contribute more to your child's life than what was normal for your fathers. There is no doubt that families benefit when dads take a more active role in nurturing their kids. Research has proven that children whose fathers are actively involved in their lives tend to have better cognitive and language skills and fewer behavior problems. Involvement from you as a father helps your child tremendously. Your child yearns to do things that you do. It is not to acquire your skills, but to share your world.
There's no special prescription except love for your children and willingness to take part in what may seem like the mundane routines of their lives.But here are a few suggestions to dads for bringing up their children:
Love And Respect Your Child's Mother
One of the best things you as a father can do for your children is to respect their mother. A father and mother who respect each other, and let their children know it, provide a secure environment for them. When your children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected. Your daughters are going to date fellows who show the same level of commitment and respect you model. And your sons are going to treat their girlfriends and wives the same way they see you treat your wife. Let your children see you sharing love and affection with their mother. When you and your wife have a conflict, show your children how two people can make up. The most important area of life you prepare your children for is marriage and family, and their best preparation is to live with a dad who loves their mom.
Earn the Right To Be Heard
All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. That's why so many children cringe when their mother says, "Your father want to talk with you." Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle, as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.
You as Father should be a Role Model
Fathers are role models to their kids, whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humbleness and responsibility.
Children Need Your Quality Time
How a father spends his time tells his children what's important to him. If you always seem too busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children. Kids grow up so quickly. Missed opportunities are forever lost.
Discipline means character development, not venting anger
Don't discipline your child out of anger. Give yourself time to cool off. Children need to see that discipline and love are not opposites Discipline is not punishment--it might involve discomfort, but its purpose is correction and development. You should let your children know that when you take privileges away from them, or when they have to be spanked, it's not to torment them. It's so that later in life your children don't have habit patterns that hurt them.
Communicate as a family
A united family makes children feel secure. Share at least one meal every day as a family, when you sit down and talk about the issues of the day. Spend one night a week together as a family (not watching TV). It doesn't have to be expensive; you could play games together, go for walks, or go to a park. During family times, the toughest things for us dads are to learn how to listen. We love to give advice, but only by listening will we learn what their hearts need.
Be your child's teacher
Too many fathers think teaching is something others do. But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their children learn the basic lessons of life.
Read to Your Child
In a world where television often dominates the lives of children, it is important that fathers make an effort to read to their children. Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing. Begin reading to your children when they are very young.
Show a lot of Affection towards your child
Children need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted and loved by their family. Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children. Showing affection every day is the best way to let your children know that you love them.
Don't be afraid to show your tender side
Tender words and affection matter. Studies show that when children don't experience that affection, they will search for it in self-destructive ways. A day shouldn't go by that a dad does not tell his children, "I love you." Each day may be the last time we have that opportunity.
Don't overprotect your children
When our children make bad decisions, sometimes the best thing a dad can do is to stand back and let them feel the heat. Learning that "you reap what you sow" is a very important part of becoming an adult.
Realize That a Father's Job is Never Done
Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Whether it's continued schooling, a new job or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, perhaps, marry and build their own families.
It takes a lot of energy to shape the lives God has entrusted to us as fathers. We need to make the most of our time with our children, so that we never look back and wish, "If only I had spent more time, or given more praise, or told them how much I loved them." We should give our best to being a father. Even if our children decide to adopt values contrary to what we have taught them, we never, ever want them to say it's because they felt like they got the leftovers in their life.