You got a divorce, so now what? You cried many rivers and can’t cry anymore. You sold the house or they moved out, you came to an amicable custody agreement with the kids, your family and friends are asking to set you up with their single pal and your cringe, your Saturday nights are spent watching Netflix on the couch in your pajamas and you’re wondering if you’re ready for a fresh start. The answer is yes! Going through a divorce or life changing transition can be scary, cause anxiety and self-doubt. The break-up of a marriage isn’t easy on anyone or any part of our life. Giving and disciplining yourself in with extra TLC in your mind, body and style will help you step into the next chapter with confidence, encouragement, and hope.
3 Steps to Moving on From a Divorce
1. Primp Your Mind- Knowledge is key to taking your mind off the negative self sabotaging thoughts and filling it with something positive. Take a class that you wanted to take at the local community college, online school or a wine and painting event for a night. Invest in yourself. Make time for learning new things. Get your spirituality “on”. Find what workout regimen will keep you healthy and fit for life. Explore speakers (Elizabeth Gilbert, Joyce Meyer, TD Jakes, Oprah, Deepak Chopra) on YouTube that have positive messages and listen to them daily. Implement the tips they give to living a positive and purposeful existence. Get that certification to up your credentials. Hire others that know what you don’t to train you and give you fresh eyes.
2. Shock Your Body- I know this maybe your least favorite tip. Don’t panic. Start slow and your body will follow your lead. Regardless of weight, working out and physical activity releases chemicals called endorphins into our brain to make us feel good. In addition, endorphins also induce a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine. For example, the feeling that follows extensive workout is often described as "euphoric." That burst of happiness, known as a "runner's high," can be accompanied by a positive and energizing outlook on life. Not into running or extensive boot camps? No worries, start slow. Go hiking with a friend, enroll in a dance class or social exercise group like on Meetup.com. Be social and meet new friends while getting in shape.
3. Revamp Your Style - Start with your hair and work your way to the toes. Get a fresh cut and complimentary highlights or lowlights for the ladies. Make an appointment at make-up counter to get a makeover or makeunder depending on your goals and ideal look. Next, invest in new pieces that fit your current lifestyle; healthy, active, social and polished. Make sure you have a quality core wardrobe(perfect fitting jeans, cashmere sweater, 2 dresses, slacks etc). Grab shirts or scarves in complimentary colors to brighten your face. Finally, get a mani-pedicure. And yes, this tip is for men too!
The trick to moving forward after a divorce is to discipline yourself in the three areas of your life. Your mind may tell you “I don’t want to learn anything new-- it’s too hard”. Your body may tell you “What’s the point? Let’s stay here all night where it’s warm, cozy and safe”. Your old clothes may say “Don’t discard me! We had so many great times together. I want you to wear me forever...who cares if I have holes and don’t fit. People don’t care what you like”. Try to push past the deterring self-talk and get into action whether you feel like it or not. Your mind, body and style will slowly start to transition with you to the next chapter.
For more tips on how to shop for your style personality, body-shape and lifestyle check out Ultimate Guide to Style:From Drab to Fab! on Amazon. If you would like more fashion wisdom check out www.StyleByRayne.com and follow her on Instagram @rayneparvis for inspiration to be bold and beautiful.