by Jackie Conner, from divorcehelparticles.com
Many divorced parents are uncomfortable when they hear their children speak fondly about the other parent. Children love both parents unconditionally, so even though one parent may have several reasons why they feel the other parent isn’t the wonderful, devoted parent the child portrays, it is important to respect that your child will probably always see the other parent in a different, more favorable light than you do.
The right way to support your child in this situation is to allow them to talk openly and freely about the other parent without trying to disprove their beliefs or send negative non-verbal messages through body language. I have witnessed parents roll their eyes, refuse to respond, and/or go so far as to explain why Daddy or Mommy isn’t so wonderful upon hearing their child sing his or her praises. That is a big mistake.
Divorce robs children of a household with both biological parents. That cannot be helped. However, it is unfair to rob them of their favorable feelings toward the other parent as well. The best thing to do when your child praises the other parent is to remember that your child isn’t talking about the person you know, they are talking about the person they know. Their perceptions will always be different than yours in most cases and that is okay. In fact, with respect to a child’s ability to cope with divorce, it is healthy for them to admire and look up to both parents, despite whatever feelings exist between the two adults themselves.