by Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill, from www.empoweringchildrenofdivorce.com
Is navigating through a divorce finding you feeling exhausted, down, or even depressed?
Well, you need to remember to make time to have fun with your kids and enjoy the days for yourself, as well.
For weeks and months, you’ve been working your very best to help your children navigate through the changes in the family and be supportive of all the relationships within the family.
All of this can be very mind intensive and emotionally draining, and yet, every day is meant to be enjoyed. So some divorce tips will help to make sure that for yourself and for your children, you are putting fun and pleasure into your days.
So let’s keep in mind that although the family is changing, there are going to be two homes, and things will be different, that doesn’t mean the end of pleasure and fun, which is often what divorce can be associated with.
Brainstorm with your kids about some fun rituals and daily or weekly family activities that you can do together. Don’t worry, these do not have to take a lot of time, planning, preparation or money. They are about being with your kids.
Here are a few ideas…
Pick one night out of the week where nobody is cooking. Pizza is a good example, or it could be Chinese food, or whatever your family’s favorite food is. That one night of the week, everyone can count on that being what you are going to eat. They will look forward to that night each week and enjoy being at the table and the pleasure of that favorite food and the time together.
With a game night, you can alternate who gets to choose the game that’s going to be played that week. You might pick the first time what game you want to play. The next week, you let your son or your daughter, and the next week the other sibling would pick. Set aside an hour to enjoy time together playing a game.
After dinner when everyone has their chores and homework done, make some popcorn and enjoy a movie together. It could be on the weekend or close to the weekend. Pick a night where there are not a lot of other demands. Alternate who picks the movie so that everyone has a sense of leadership and ownership.
It’s interesting to see the variety of thoughts, feelings and ideas based on what they choose for a movie. You could even have some conversation around that to gain clarity on what they’re feeling and what they’re liking at the time.
Chef for the night:
Designate a chef for a meal. Give your child the opportunity to pick what they’re going to actually cook for the family. Note: Fast food and carry out don’t count for this. Cooking for the family allows them to express themselves and get more practice on an important life skill that far too many kids these days don’t have called cooking.
Be creative and see what you can come up with together
Practice being in the moment during these special times and then expand that habit throughout the day every day. Cherish time spent together and all the relationships that form your world.
Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill
Support System Inc.
Founder of Empowering Children Of Divorce